Plastic Bags... and why you're a moron for buying a reusable grocery bag

Sure, I think we should all stop using plastic bags. I mean, really, they kill Indian cows!


Still, despite their hostile tendencies, Americans consume more than 100 billion plastic bags a year. That's 50 times the amount of pencils we consume a year, and almost 17 times the amount of gallons of milk we consume every year. "That's a lot of petroleum-based plastic, Mary" Yes. That's a lot of plastic.



Fortunately, the media has stepped in. With their fantastic new "Go Green!" campaigns, pop culture has achieved what enviro-hippies have failed to do for years. Suddenly, Anya Hindmarch creates her "I am not a plastic bag" bags. While her beautiful bags normally sell far beyond my financial means, these cotton totes were sold for $15 at WholeFoods (which are now available on Amazon for $50+). Suddenly, it becomes fashionable to be green. Luckily, and thankfully, Anya has a brain and realizes the irony of this. When the bags were first released and met with rediculous lines, she said, “I hate the idea of making the environment trendy, but you need to make it cool and then it becomes a habit.” She's right.


The issue arrises when amateur tree-huggers take this purchase of a fashion tote as doing their part for the environment. Then, you have girls like "A.Levar" who is the perfect example of everything that has gone wrong with the green movement. Raving about her purchase of Anya's bag, she writes, "Great bag with a very serious message. Plastic bags are hurting our environment and the lives within it. Runoff from rain over the dumps ends up polluting water as well as the soil. Plastic bags take 1,000 years to break down... [W]hen I go to Target or somewhere else I bring this bag with me and I feel good knowing that I as an individual am doing my part to avoid plastic bags." ["Like, totally. Oh, em, gee, I love you, bitch."]


While I applaud A.Levar's "like total dedication" to the cause, she simply misses the point. Purchasing an additional cloth bag, to add to her already glorious agglomoration of purses is NOT GREEN. Green would be NOT purchasing another bag and adding to the sickness of American hyper-consumerism.

When searching for an acceptable grocery recepticle, one desires several characteristics: lightweight, durable, comfortable to hold, and a large capacity. That sounds strangly similar to a backpack! Ta-dah! Now here's the truely green solution: use a bag you already own instead of purchasing a new one. Think of the carbon footprint of purchasing a new grocery bag. First, all the ingredients for the product must be transported to one location - workers included. Then, the bag is constructed - probably with petroleum-rich plastic - then, it's shipped from China to America. Then, it's put in trucks to be delivered across the country to your store. Then, you purchase it. Then, you transport it from the store to your home. Carbon footprint = heavy. On the other hand, if you use an item that you already own, there are no additional carbon emissions.

Enviro solutions are to be found, not bought. Next time you want to be ecofriendly, look in your closet.