Breaking News: EPA's Question of the Week Insights Record Levels of Ignorance

EPA's blog, Greenversations, usually leaves me smirking due to the cute anecdotes, declarations of progress, or calls to action. Today's question, however, left me shaking my head in disappointment and disgust. The "Question of the Week: Why do you drink bottled water or tap water?" resulted in many comments about the environmental benefits of using tap water instead of bottled water. While some commenters had legitimate reasons for drinking bottled water (eg: their well is contaminated), other bottle-users actually believe that bottled water is better than tap water.

People claim that bottled water is healthier, and they remind us that they have children. At the end of the day, however, their ignorance is going to harm the children they hope to protect. It is a common fact that tap water (which is tested by EPA) is regulated under might more stringent guidelines than bottled water (which is controlled by the FDA). FDA openly says that they do not adopt all EPA recommended contaminant guidelines for bottled water. EPA and local DEP offices test public water supplies often, whereas the FDA does not test the actual "ingredients" of bottled water even half as much. Sure, recent reports have highlighted the presence of pharmaceuticals in tap water. But, really, I don't see a problem with the entire city being mildly dosed with anti-depressants; maybe it'll bring the crime rate down. Plus, who says that bottled water doesn't contain the same levels? It's all coming from the same place: upstate.

Bottled water brings us back to our looming friend: plastic.

Let's create a happy little situation. We take a chemical - one that is heat reactive - and use it when we create plastic bottles. Just for fun, we'll call this chemical BPA. We store spring water in said BPA-containing bottles. Then, we let them sit in the sun - or metal storage cars - to let the chemical brew up a sweet little concoction. BPA leaches into the water and awaits your unsuspecting lips. You say, "but I don't let my bottles of water sit in the sun!" Do you think the truck driver who delivered your bottle from the warehouse to the store had the same level of concern as you? People are dangerously ignorant when they believe bottled water is safer than tap water simply because of BPA. Especially when it comes to children and women, BPA is especially toxic. Scientists are still unsure of the levels that BPA leaches. If they find out that BPA miraculously does not leach at a dangerous level - great, we're safe. If they discover that we're being exposed to carcinogenic levels of BPA through bottled water - you can't take back the water you drank. "I didn't know" doesn't immunize your body from BPA.

Another downfall of your plastic bottle: bacteria. Of course you re-use your plastic water bottle, you're envirofriendly. I hope your vegan-ism extends to bacteria, because your clear plastic bottle is a petri dish. It's okay that your mouth is laden with bacteria - it's supposed to be that way - but your dirty mouth + a greenhouse-looking bottle + moisture = Shangri-La for bacteria. It's not your fault that it's near impossible to scrub the inside of a Poland Spring bottle. Plus, if you stick a scrubber inside, you'll probably scratch it and make a bacteria hotel. Just like cracks in your teeth lead to cavities, scratches on the inside of plastic bottles lead to growths of bacteria. So what do you do? Throw it out after every use? No, that's just ridiculous. You're eco-friendly, you recycle, I'm sure. Now think of all the energy that must be spent to process that bottle back to a state that can be utilized by plastic companies. Recycling is great because if reduces the amount of garbage sitting on our landfills, but it still uses a great deal of energy. A better alternative: don't use plastic bottles.

Buy a BPA-free bottle that you can safely clean (Sigg, Camelback, and Nalgene all offer BPA-free bottles). In this case, the best way to save the planet is to not do something. Bottled water abstinance.

Plastic Bags... and why you're a moron for buying a reusable grocery bag

Sure, I think we should all stop using plastic bags. I mean, really, they kill Indian cows!


Still, despite their hostile tendencies, Americans consume more than 100 billion plastic bags a year. That's 50 times the amount of pencils we consume a year, and almost 17 times the amount of gallons of milk we consume every year. "That's a lot of petroleum-based plastic, Mary" Yes. That's a lot of plastic.



Fortunately, the media has stepped in. With their fantastic new "Go Green!" campaigns, pop culture has achieved what enviro-hippies have failed to do for years. Suddenly, Anya Hindmarch creates her "I am not a plastic bag" bags. While her beautiful bags normally sell far beyond my financial means, these cotton totes were sold for $15 at WholeFoods (which are now available on Amazon for $50+). Suddenly, it becomes fashionable to be green. Luckily, and thankfully, Anya has a brain and realizes the irony of this. When the bags were first released and met with rediculous lines, she said, “I hate the idea of making the environment trendy, but you need to make it cool and then it becomes a habit.” She's right.


The issue arrises when amateur tree-huggers take this purchase of a fashion tote as doing their part for the environment. Then, you have girls like "A.Levar" who is the perfect example of everything that has gone wrong with the green movement. Raving about her purchase of Anya's bag, she writes, "Great bag with a very serious message. Plastic bags are hurting our environment and the lives within it. Runoff from rain over the dumps ends up polluting water as well as the soil. Plastic bags take 1,000 years to break down... [W]hen I go to Target or somewhere else I bring this bag with me and I feel good knowing that I as an individual am doing my part to avoid plastic bags." ["Like, totally. Oh, em, gee, I love you, bitch."]


While I applaud A.Levar's "like total dedication" to the cause, she simply misses the point. Purchasing an additional cloth bag, to add to her already glorious agglomoration of purses is NOT GREEN. Green would be NOT purchasing another bag and adding to the sickness of American hyper-consumerism.

When searching for an acceptable grocery recepticle, one desires several characteristics: lightweight, durable, comfortable to hold, and a large capacity. That sounds strangly similar to a backpack! Ta-dah! Now here's the truely green solution: use a bag you already own instead of purchasing a new one. Think of the carbon footprint of purchasing a new grocery bag. First, all the ingredients for the product must be transported to one location - workers included. Then, the bag is constructed - probably with petroleum-rich plastic - then, it's shipped from China to America. Then, it's put in trucks to be delivered across the country to your store. Then, you purchase it. Then, you transport it from the store to your home. Carbon footprint = heavy. On the other hand, if you use an item that you already own, there are no additional carbon emissions.

Enviro solutions are to be found, not bought. Next time you want to be ecofriendly, look in your closet.